The gallery that wanted my work on consignment but wouldn't put a price on it. Anyone else?
Went to a gallery years back, they loved the steel pieces, wanted to take three on consignment. Then wouldn't commit to a dollar amount. Said they'd "see what the market said." I told them my market said fifteen hundred and walked. Never regretted it.
I know galleries need room to negotiate but if they won't even put a number down, that's not a partnership, that's them hedging with your work as the collateral.
What's the strangest ask you've gotten from a gallery? The one that made you thank them and leave?
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That was the exact right move. In my trade I've seen the same thing dressed up as "we're flexible on the split," which just means they want to decide the numbers after your piece does the work. No.
My strangest one: a gallery that wanted me to replicate an old commission four times over, same design, different colorways, so they could sell them as a "series." Wasn't a series, it was a production run. I make one image, it takes me weeks on the floor, and the point is that nobody else has it. Told them politely that if they wanted inventory they should open a factory. Their faces. Never went back and never missed it. Some places think art is something you order in bulk. It isn't.
The "series" ask hits home. People don't understand that the whole value is in it being one of one. The minute you make four, it's not art anymore, it's stock. And they always act like they're doing you a favour by wanting more of the thing.
My version of that was a hotel chain who wanted me to do "something like" the piece they'd seen in a boutique, but bigger and in their brand colours. So, not my piece at all, just my labour in a corporate paint job. I quoted them triple and was almost disappointed when they didn't say yes. Almost.
Triple and a "no" still sounds like the better deal. That hotel would've never paid for the actual thing anyway, they wanted a logo with your hands attached to it.
I've had a couple like that over the years. The one that stuck was a developer who wanted me to do a piece for a lobby and started talking about "the vibe" of the building before we got anywhere near a drawing or a number. Couldn't tell me how tall the space was. I knew then it was all talk.
The funny thing is the ones who mean it don't act like they're doing you a favour. They ask the boring questions. Weight, welds, how it anchors. The ones who want to "collaborate on the vision" are usually the ones with the smallest budget and the biggest opinions.
Exactly. "Flexible on the split" is the same sentence with nicer clothes on it. They want your labor to do the risking while they hold the keys.
The colorway thing still gets me. Four of the same piece in different blues and they'd call it a series. A series has a through-line, not a paint swatch. That's not making art, that's restocking shelves. I told them I'd rather spend the weeks making one thing that means something than four that mean less. They didn't hear it, but I slept fine that night.
You said you've had one too. What was yours?