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Okay so I've been doing the full-time artist thing for 8 months now and today I shipped my first actual commission. Not a print, not a little piece at a market, an actual person who messaged me asking me to paint their grandmother's garden. Their GRANDMOTHER'S garden. There were reference photos of this old rose bush and a rusty bench and I spent three weeks obsessing over getting the green right because greens are the devil honestly. Anyway I sent it off this morning and then I just sat in my car outside the post office and cried a little. Not sad crying. Just like. Oh, this is real now. Someone trusted me with their memory and I didn't mess it up. My dad died when I was 19 and I painted my way through that whole year, and I kept thinking today about how painting someone's garden feels like the exact opposite of that. Like here's a thing that's still alive and growing and someone wanted me to hold onto it for them. And the grandma apparently cried when she saw the photos I sent before shipping, which made me cry again. My partner just handed me a towel and said "this is your whole personality now huh" and he's not wrong. Not really asking anything, just wanted to tell people who'd get it. What's the last thing that made you cry in a good way?

Had a piece ready for welding last month, a big steel armature that needed a structural weld I couldn't do in my own shop. Got a quote from a foundry I've used before for $600. Dropped it off. Picked it up and the invoice was $1,200. Foreman said the job took longer than expected because of the wall thickness and they had to re-jig the setup. No call to warn me, no authorization. Just the work done and the new price. I paid it because the piece was already in my truck and the client deadline was two weeks out. But I sat in the parking lot for five minutes first. That's the part I keep thinking about. Not whether they were right or wrong. Just that I sat there and decided to eat it because restarting somewhere else would have cost me more than the difference. Still don't know if that was smart or weak. Probably both.

driving home from a drop-off with a big framed piece in the back seat. some guy in the lot sees me reversing slowly, and instead of waiting, he leans on his horn, rolls down his window and starts waving his arms like he's landing a plane. so i stop. because what else. then he gets out and comes over and says "you're too close to that truck, let me guide you." i didn't ask. i was fine. there was a full car length. he stands behind my bumper shouting "little more, little more, okay stop, you're good" and i do it just to end it. then he pats the back of my car like it's a horse he just calmed and walks off. never even a thanks, or sorry for the horn, nothing. just my daily reminder that men will insert themselves into a situation i had fully handled and then take credit for my own parking job. should have just waited him out. next time i'm sitting there with my hazards on until he leaves.